I know you. You’re familiar. That lump in the throat. 
Not the lump that feels like you’re going to cry. 
But rather, that feeling of pressure on my voicebox, like someone is grabbing my throat and squeezing.

It’s a pressure I felt every single day for 8 weeks before the move across seas.
My massage therapist gentle rubbed my neck and I began to cry, 
Releasing the words that just couldn’t do the justice of how torn I felt between 2 continents, 
Feeling ready to join my fiance but all the same not ready to say goodbye to my loved ones.

It’s the pressure I felt every single day for weeks over the summer last year, 
My reiki healer and dear friend of mine put her soft hands on my throat, 
and whispered, “It’s Canada pain, my love.”
The pressure began to ease off as I allowed myself to grieve Canada, who I used to be, & the people I love deeply there.

It’s the tightening of my throat chakra I feel every time that I bite my tongue and not speak up for myself, 
It’s the tightening I feel every time I have not voiced my needs and desires in my relationship.

& here we are today, feeling that familiar lump, that comes and goes according to the energy moving through my throat chakra. 
As I type this, I feel the tightening lump shift to a tingling sensation.

This lump, though familiar, is different.

This lump is not because I am holding something in, but rather, I am letting something out.

This lump is the unraveling of many past lives where I was choked, hung, stretched, and gagged.

The centuries my gifts lay dormant or I had to hide my truth.

The centuries where it was not safe for me to share my intuitive wisdom or messages from the Goddess.

The times that someone I trusted betrayed me and I was handed over to be raped, beaten and burned.

And as I get more familiar with my authentic voice, my truths, and channel the wisdom of other beings,

And publicly declare that I am a witch, a channeler, a mystic, a priestess, a healer, a cosmic queen,

And publicly share the work that I do with fierce conviction because it’s not just this lifetime I’ve been training

It’s been many lifetimes I’ve been preparing for this incarnation,

In this lifetime I have the freedom and safety to unravel the noose around my neck,

Layer after layer, lifetime after lifetime, I give voice to the times I could not speak

I give voice to the women and men before me who could not speak

I am an open channel for divine wisdom to move through me like a tidal wave

and I will not be afraid anymore to speak my truth loudly

Because it no longer is about me.

It’s about humanity.

It’s about our species.

It’s about Momma Earth.

It’s about keeping our asses alive as we face mass extinction.

So lump in the throat, I know you, you appear when I am stretching,

When I am uncomfortable, and when I’m not speaking my truth,

You appear as a reminder for all the times I couldn’t speak,

But this time, I AM speaking my truth, which means, yes, I’m uncomfortable,

I’m stretching into a new paradigm and disrupting many fear patterns

I’m shaking up my reality by upgrading my inner energetics

I’m opening my throat to spew out the words that rip through me

I’m giving an outlet for that which moves through my vessel

I’ve spent years hiding, centuries hiding, it no longer is an option

I’m not alone in this, I am so supported and so loved and being taken care of in such a divine way

I’m allowing myself to be heard, witnessed, and quite frankly, judged, but I have this to say to the judgers

Unless you are in the trenches yourself, doing the work to empower, fulfill, heal, yourself and humanity,

You don’t have the authority to say shit about the work I do.

& the taller I stand and the louder I speak,

& the more uncomfortable I get

The chains fall way

The rope unties

The hands let go

& my throat exhales the breath & voices of millions that came before me.

{Image from Pinterest}