I’m travelling solo today for the first time in over a year.
I’m off to Vienna for the weekend to immerse myself in my “first” initiation into shamanism in this lifetime.
This evening starts with a tea with a siStar and a light ceremony for global healing.
Alchemy has already been taking place this week leading up to this weekend with new guides revealing themselves to me.
I’ve been deep in reflection this past week, giving space for past versions of myself to be heard in order for their lessons to fully integrate and for me to fully let them go.
2 years ago at this time I was in group therapy for victims of sexual assault, I was seeing a PTSD counsellor and normal day to day tasks were quite difficult and overwhelming for me.
3 years ago at this time I was preparing to fly off to Vegas on my own, a newly found wild & free travel junkie spirit within me as I had recently broke free of a confining societal box of “normality”.
After much fun being single, reckless, and filling my passport with stamps, I had just met my now partner and the Universe delivered me with a karmic slap that brought me to my knees.
In the “safety” of a resort I was staying in with a friend in Dominican, we became targets for a sex slave ring being run by management and “security”.
That night changed the directory of my life, which lead me to the work I do now in the world and for that I am deeply grateful for the initiation.
PTSD thankfully is no longer alive in my experience but the way I travel is different.
Though I don’t travel alone much these days because my partner is my lifelong adventure buddy, being on my own in an Airbnb is still a bit of an out-of-my-comfort-zone experience.
When I do travel solo, I become very reflective and take personal victory on how far I have come since the idea of walking across a crowded bar to get to the bathroom in a foreign country would once send me into an anxiety attack.
If you’re still reading this, and you yourself are overcoming your own trauma, know that even though some days are unbelievably dark that you don’t really want to keep going anymore, as cliche as it sounds, there IS life after trauma.
There is a day that comes that you start to feel again.
& there is a day that comes that you will be able to write a post similar to this one, celebrating how far you have come from your darkest days.
Take personal victory in all of the small shifts of healing because one day, I promise you you’ll be able to go a full day without thinking about the moment that everything changed.