Radiant. The word that so many of my guests and my family and friends used throughout the week in Spain.

As I was walking down the aisle, I was walking through a portal of love and support from our closest friends and family, and I felt everything come full circle. I could see and feel light pouring through my heart, and as soon as I grabbed his hand, I felt myself anchor into my king’s vortex.

What many of my guests didn’t know, was the months that I spent deep in my own underworld clearing grief, betrayal, shame, guilt, and deep unworthiness issues that surfaced with a really bad breakout, all while adjusting to life in a new country.

I only started to look forward to the wedding a few months prior, as I was so deep in my processes of letting go of a 22 year long friendship – the person that was originally supposed to be my Maid of Honour, and healing my own personal judgements around the way that my skin was going to look on my wedding day.

It’s in the underworld that lies the ever fluid, constantly transforming feminine: the process of dying and rebirthing repeatedly.

For weeks, I would go to bed a different person than I was in the morning, the shifts and transformation were so vast. I plunged into the depths of the Dark Mother, allowing myself to unravel and let go of everything and everyone.

As the days began to get longer and the natural world sprouted to life, I felt myself emerge from the alchemical womb of the priestess path, my legs still shaky, I looked up to see a cosmic throne with a white gold column of light showering over it.

Timelines of unworthiness had been collapsed, I knew this throne was for me, and I actually had the space within me to fully receive what this cosmic contract had in store for me as I had done such deep clearing around the denser vibrations in my being. I just had one more initiation to go through: own all aspects of who I am with friends and family who knew a very outdated version of myself.

The week of the wedding was a dance between being triggered into unconscious parts of myself that were confronting me to be healed and owning my fifth dimensional higher self. I had to kick any old habits of people pleasing out the door, and set boundaries around my own energetic space, which I witnessed old patterns of guilt coming to surface to release. Like I always say to my clients, it’s coming up to be healed and released, it’s on it’s way out. I did my best operating on the few hours of sleep I had all week, and learned how to give myself compassion and grace for the times that I felt I wasn’t as my higher self.

The last half hour before walking down the aisle was absolute mayhem, but once I rounded that last palm tree on my Dad’s arm and I saw everyone that was there for us, I felt the cosmic queen that I am in another dimension step forward, radiating love and joy. 3D shifted to 5D, the noise and the stress that lead up to this point melted away, and the Mediterranean sea crashed against the rocks fiercely and elegantly as two beings became one.

That week in Spain was full of meeting up with people I hadn’t seen in months and prewedding parties – most of them I attended with no makeup on my face to cover up the acne scars – and not once did the feeling of shame pop up around how I thought my face looked. That was not my story 2 months ago.

To feel absolutely ravishing and angel like beautiful during a time where my skin was not “bridal ready”, is a true testament to what happens when we break ourselves free from the collective matrix of fear programming.

I had dove deep into the waters of quantum healing, getting familiar and learning how to love the vast darkness of the shadow, in order to be able to drink from the high vibrational pools of cosmic light and feminine radiance.

My entire 6 month private coaching container, Cosmic Radiance, was birthed out of me a few months ago and then I was taken through a series of initiations to integrate these feminine ascension codes into my being.

Our sacred union in the presence of our loved ones was the final ceremony to complete the final intitiation.

The last 2 weeks I’ve been coming down from it all, not just the busy week of the wedding, but also just to take space to fully receive what this union, Cosmic Radiance, and my Heaven on Earth means.

With the Lion’s Gate Portal open, we are being showered with abundance light codes, which if we let it, life becomes much more beautiful with this when we open our hearts to receiving such.

The question is, how good can you handle it?

For those that are new in my vortex, it was only 3 years ago that I had just returned from my first ever plane ride which lead me to walking away from a mortgage and a long term relationship as an oilfield girlfriend to a narcissist. I lost many friends during this time as he made it his personal vendetta to try to destroy me. I moved back in with my parents so that I could start to travel and live life in limbo for a while so that I could “find myself”.

Little did I know at the time that I would be dying and rebirthing multiple times to strip away the layers of societal conditioning, traumas and worthiness wounds to come home to my true soul blueprint.

Shortly after I started travelling I ran into some trouble in Dominican, resulting in me spending the better part of a year healing from PTSD. My journey through PTSD guided me to discovering Neuro-linguistic programming, which is the main modality I now use in my coaching practice.

I met my soulmate in Cuba – an Irishman living in Austria. We did the long distance thing for a while, he put the ring on my finger under the Eiffel Tower, and my dog and I moved to Austria to join him on this side of the world a little over a year ago. Travelling is a big part of who we are. Though our time together in this lifetime has been a short couple of years, we have spent many lifetimes together, dating back to ancient times and the sunken city outside of Cuba.

I’ve done the work to develop the inner reality of feminine magnetism, strong self belief/worth, and deep relationship with the spiritual world, which continually , though I have just barely scratched the surface. We have a lot of work to get to the point of fully tapping into the beautiful mystery and magick of the sweet nectar of the sacred feminine. Not just women, but men too.

A woman on the path of awakening the sacred feminine within can only be her fullest expression when she feels safe and held within the masculine, which requires us to be doing our own inner union of the masculine and feminine within, as well as to heal our relationship with the king energy. When our king pledges to be the gatekeeper and protector of the path of the divine feminine, to be her calm in the chaos, to be the the river bed to her flowing water, and to be doing his own work on inner union between the masculine and feminine energies, two columns of light collide together in sacred union birthing heaven on earth.

You are stronger when those two columns of light become one. I am amazed at the depth of the alchemy that is happening within us the past 2 weeks since we merged as one force.

It truly is sacred.

I am currently calling in two women who desire to develop the radiant inner reality to massively upgrade their external reality through the Cosmic Radiance process. If you feel the stir, reach out. The right ones will be guided to this experience. Email me at coachmaryenns@gmail.com for more information. ❤