10 months into this new adventure of living abroad, and Salzburg is finally feeling familiar, which is such a beautiful feeling.
I have evolved so much since Lyla and I moved here, I have gotten to know myself at a core level, outside of the chatter of all of the conditioning and imprinting from my upbringing, family, friends and culture.
It was my intuition that told me that I had to follow this crazy Irishman across the world for love so raw, deep and electric. It was 2 years ago that we met on a tour bus heading to Matanzas, Cuba, and when I said goodbye to him the morning my sunny vacation ended, I knew I would see him again.
Fate brought us together, and I didn’t truly understood to what level until I put my dog in a plane and we flew across the Atlantic to join him based on a magnetic pull so strong that we moved mountains to be together. Each day that passes and I get to know my fiance on a deeper level, I get more clear as to WHY our fire stayed alive through months of texts and video calls and very few visits.
This fire moved the mountains and the ocean that were keeping us apart, taught me patience and resilience, and burned away relationships that weren’t meant to be anymore.
And even though it was a challenge settling into a new country, I knew on every cell of my being that this human being is the one I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with.
I lost people because of my happiness. People that I never thought would ever disappear, suddenly just weren’t there anymore. I felt their disconnection from thousands of miles away, and they crumbled and fell away.
And this was the biggest lesson to me.
After grieving the betrayal and loss I came to a deep sense of clarity and understanding.
That there are people in this world that can’t handle your radiance, your light and your happiness because it’s mirroring to them something in themselves that they are denying.
There are people that will always have something to say to be critical about you.
There are people who will be in your corner supporting you, but as soon as they feel like you’re moving on without them because they are stuck in their own loop, they cut you loose like a balloon and let you float away.
And so, we really just have to focus on our own path, our own world, our own reality, and be okay with rising up, taking up space, and being seen. It is our duty to get our creative endeavors out into the world because that’s our medicine to help humanity who needs healing so badly. We must stay grounded in who we are despite the judgement of others and to fully embody that through every cell of our being.
But in order to do that, we have to unravel first.
We have to let go of everyone and everything and every thought to get to that deep sense of who it is that we are, outside of everyone else.
I understand more than ever, that our inner reality creates our external reality, and so, I’ve learned how to retreat into my inner reality to find the grace to forgive and release resentment to the people that hurt me deeply. In order for me to expand the way my soul is calling me to, I had to learn how to heal my own perceptions of the contracts I have with other beings.
And in this inner reality, I found the frequency of love purer than ever, with little to no static, and I finally understood this game of life.
Photo credit: Stephany Stefan