“We won’t do anything bad to her here in the lobby. There’s too many cameras,” the boss said to us as the security guards dragged the drugged tourist out into the street.
May 1, 2017 my life completely changed. I left my free spirit in the dark side of paradise as I came home in shock, numb, and disbelief that I was still here.
This picture was the last photo I took at Whala! Bavaro resort in Punta Cana when we realized that the lock on our door had been broken. Everything spiralled from there.
“Prostitution ring.” These words that I only heard on the news. These are words I only I heard on movies. These are not 2 words that I ever thought I would say with such power behind it. I never thought that it would hit so close to home. My home.
I came home fucked up in every corner of my mind. My body didn’t feel like mine. My mind didn’t feel like mine. My soul was screaming. I was all sorts of WTF for months.
I went to counselling because that’s what I thought I needed. 3 sessions in I knew I was wasting my time. This woman couldn’t help me. This woman didn’t understand what it was like. This woman couldn’t help me on the spiritual level that I knew I needed.
Instead of seeking help outside of me, I went within. I asked my soul what she needed. I asked my higher self for guidance. I found light.
Fast forward to today. I have built a successful life coaching practice, working with magical women to empower them to create a life of flow. I am 8 days away from moving half way across the world with my dog to be with my Irishman. I am connected with my free spirit again…she is one powerful badass goddess. I allowed someone in through the darkness and now I’m getting married to him! I have fully embodied my divine feminine and healed my divine masculine energy.
Approaching the 1 year anniversary, I got triggered a couple of days ago to the song that was playing on the beach when everything changed. I felt disconnected from my body and energetically sensitive the rest of the day. I’ve been having nightmare flashbacks of that night. Here’s the difference. I have my power back. This no longer has the power to spiral me out for days, weeks even months. This no longer has the power to make me lose control of my mind and my body.
Today is going to be a great day. Tomorrow is going to be a great day. Yesterday was a great day. I remember and honour what happened because of who it shaped me into today.
Trauma will always be there, but once you spend the time going inwards – you will always have access to the tools that your higher self has provided. You are no longer learning how to live your life with PTSD, you are a #PTSDWarrior.
May 1st . My life changed. This year – it’s going to change again. I rewrite what May 1st means to me.