When we come into this world, we are a screaming ball of fury that just is. We haven’t had other people’s fears put on us, their values, beliefs, ideas, expectations. We don’t know what colour we are, what gender we are, we are just a being that only knows love. And as we grow, things are said around us and to us that absorb into our little brains that accept it all as factual truth. Until the age of 6, our subconscious is being programmed by everything and everyone around us. This is the blueprint of how our brains and thought patterns will operate for the rest of our lives until we become aware that we are able to change it.
Perhaps it was said around you when you were 3 years old, that you learn slower than the other kids and you just are not catching on the way the other 3 year olds are. Your little subconscious absorbs this as factual truth which has now programmed you to be a child who always struggles in school. Growing into an adult that feels inadequate and afraid of starting anything new because you have a deep-seated fear of failure.
Perhaps your father abandoned your family at a young age, only making appearances in your life when it was convenient to him. This lead to a little girl who craved her Dad’s attention so much, and only got it when she came home with trophies and ribbons that she could call her Dad to tell him about her triumphs. This lead to an adult version of a woman who had a painfully incessant need to be perfect, and had the fear of abandonment in her relationships. She only felt worthy when she was in a relationship and receiving male attention, which meant that she was putting out a needy energy into the world which ultimately attracted men that took advantage of her success, drive and will to give her all to someone.
Our issues that we face today, those self sabotaging patterns that make you say to yourself, “What the fuck is wrong with me?” are patterns that we have been repeating for our entire lives, quite often we aren’t even aware of it. It’s not until we read a book, or a blog post like this, where we are dumbfounded as to why this shit isn’t taught in school. Once you realise that our subconscious is running the show, we can use that to our advantage by shining light on what started the self sabotaging pattern. We can then rewire our thought patterns around the situation and you will be released from the handcuffs that your own mind has put you in your entire life.
Will it happen overnight? Nope. It’s going to take work. It’s going to take positive affirmations. It’s going to take a lot of self talk, calling yourself out when you feel you’re about to slip, accountability partners, and healing. Your thoughts have been running this pattern for your entire life, it’s going to take consistency and effort to retrain them.
I was programmed to be someone to look at the negative rather than the positive, to live a life filled with anxiety and to hide because of what “could happen to me”, it held me back massively most of my life because I was overlooking all of the opportunities presented to me. I wouldn’t take risks because I was afraid of failure, I was afraid to get on an airplane because what if it got hi-jacked, I was afraid to try anything new. Where did that get me? Wasting most of my life being depressed and struggling with anxiety.
There was a day where I just said, “fuck this shit, I’m not going to live like this anymore,” and I had to work hard on letting go of the fears that were holding me back from living my life. Each day I had to make the decision that I would choose to look at the good rather than the bad, and magically my world began to grow in the direction of the positive. The more grateful I was, the more things to be grateful for was attracted into my life.
It’s been 3 years since I started working on my own personal development as far as rewiring my thought patterns, positive thinking, healing blocked memories, and choosing to look at the good in people rather than automatically not trusting them. My life has massively shifted since. I have outgrown people that were still stuck in the small minded mindset. I have lost friends and had to limit how much I associate with certain family members. Space was created in my life by outgrowing the old friends, for new amazing people to come into my life. Ones that I would have never had met or associated with if I had stayed in my small mindset. I have stepped into a fearless free spirited zone who will venture off the beaten path with her best friend in Mexico, go to Vegas by herself because everyone else bailed, and make friends with strangers everywhere she goes on her travels.
I chose to look at this world with love instead of fear. I no longer allow fear to rule my life. I am here for a good life, not necessarily a long one.
Remember, you are a force to be reckoned with, you always were, you just have been hiding behind the fears that have been created in your world before you were too young to know any different. Time to come out and show the world what you got. Tell that ego to shut the fuck up, you are in the driver’s seat now, and you have some serious waves to make.